The last two days

have been so long, and exhausting, and I have a new appreciation for people who stay home in the crises and hold down the fort. That's just as hard and more lonely, I think. Phil seems to be stabilizing, and although he'll be in CCU for a few more days, the staff is very happy with his progress and we are trusting them. Poor Paul...just learning to VOICE his emotions and not very well most of the time, and then he's dealing with this. I'm sure God's got a great plan to grow him through this, and I just want to be a supportive wife through it all. Knowing first hand what strokes can do and how it feels as a child of a stroke survivor, I am reminded of Rich's comment "there's a reason God healed you first". I hope I can be faithful to that reason in the coming days.
Easter is tomorrow...and this season when everyone is all about spring and flowers and jelly beans, I am remember MY dad. In the Catholic church, it is a 3 day holy day of Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday and Easter morning. I loved those celebrations/remembrances ...especially at St. Johns. Everything seems to have more meaning there...but that's probably more on me than the particular church, although it was a great church. Anyway, it was my dad's favorite time of the church year, and mine too. A perfect little encapsulation of Christ's life here on earth...service and communion on Thursday, suffering and death for our sins on Friday, silence in the dark, waiting...and then bursts forth our resurrected Lord...conquering death and darkness...and bringing with Him new life...Saturday service starts in the dark, with everyone holding candles, as the scripture is read: Genesis, Exodus, Isaiah, Micah, etc. It changes each year, but the same story is told: creation, man's fall, Israel's coming to be and some details of that (depending on the year), John the Baptist, Jesus and His teaching, death and resurrection. It's very moving for me and I usually bawl all the way through it...just overcome with the love that God has poured over, and continues to pour over us. And then the people who have been studying to enter the church are baptised, given first communion and confirmation...
My dad loved it, and so do I. It's about the only thing I really miss about the Catholic church... but mostly I miss my dad...his voice and his Old Spice after shave, his silly half "shit eating" grin, his books piled by the chair and his hair which never seemed to know where to lay. I know he is celebrating Easter in heaven with his parents and brother, and what a celebration that must be. But for today, I miss him...and pray that Paul doesn't have to miss his dad for years to come!!