Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Follow up to my word of the year...

my word for the year is Focus. I debated between discipline and focus, but i think they go hand in hand, so focus it is. I'll remember it because Ford has a focus but not a discipline!! LOL  Well, I didn't know it at the time, but 2009 needed alot of focus. In late May, after a routine physical, I was diagnosed with kidney disease and put on a fierce regimen of diet and exercise. While I spent some time in tears at first, overwhelmed at the diet restrictions and how to implement them, and honestly had to deal with alot of fear that I'd get even sicker and the likelihood was good for dialysis, I did get into a groove after a bit.  Ended up losing 20 lbs, 20 inches and some of the results of the kidney disease. The damage is still there, but I went from a 75+ kidneys to a practically adolescent 70 year old kidneys!! Plus I feel a lot better most of the time!!  Took ALOT of focus, but I did it.

My thoughts...(posted in early 2009 and added to in late 2009)

I need to put more energy into focusing on things and not drifting through my day.
~~This is better, most days. I started volunteering 2 days a week, so that forced me to schedule my week a little better. Add in the paperwork for the Bin and planning small group stuff for the HS and college group, and I'm pretty challenged to focus or ELSE!!
Focus on the relationships that matter: friends and family
~~I think I"m better at this with Cassie and Joseph, but it's still a struggle to connect with MandM. It's better and then worse, and then better and then worse. Hopefully now that Melissa is an official MBA (WOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!), she and my schedule will mesh together more. Michelle and I still have a hard time connecting b/c she's super involved with stuff at school and church and we have totally opposite schedules it seems! Theresa and I have been getting together to crop (ok, did it 2x but STILL) and it was so much fun and we laughed so much we both decided it was a priority in 2010. Friends...I feel like they have been so NOT a focus this year. I need to prioritize how I spend my time so I can get together with them. Women raising families just don't have time for friends, it seems. We all complain about the same thing...but can't find a solution!
Focus on acting in faith and the disciplines related to that
~~I think this is the area I am most disappointed in. I just cannot hit a groove. I have read through the psalms this year, but I miss that longing I used to have for study and scripture. I miss my ladies bible study. I miss my soul sisters. Not sure how to address this is 2010, but it's gonna be addressed.
Focus on fitness and DOING IT
~~See previous thoughts on my word for the year...my goal for 2010 is to talk to my PT guy and get my shoulder back in shape...I'm gonna have Michelle Obama arms by the end of the year. And a 2 pack. LOL
Focus on the future, not the past
~~ Think I did really well with this. Let alot of things go this year. Gave up hope on some things changing, which freed me up emotionally. I feel like I"m more present in relationships now...and far more peaceful than I was at the beginning of the year.
Focus on the important, not the urgent
~~Hmmm...I don't know about this. I feel like I was great at this until summer. I was mentoring kids I loved, spending more time doing what energized me and then it kinda drifted into problem solving alot and "clearing my desk"...This will have to be evaluated!!
So there ya have it...this year was a year of alot of challenges. Some I met well, some I let go of, but I'm generally content and balanced and happy. I think alot happier than I was at the beginning of the year. My babies are grown up...married with a toddler and newly engaged. My girlies are grown up...headed for careers and all that entails. And we have a new girl in the circle...Lauren, Joseph's fiance. I love her sassy self. I love how easy it is to talk to her...even if duct tape is needed (for both of us!!) sometimes. She lived her for almost a year and it's always great to see her "come back home".  If life is what you make it, and I think it is, I am thankful for the ingredients that 2009 added to the mix. I can do more than I thought...and in fact, to quote Jud, I can do ALL things through Christ, not just the easy things. Not just the things I want to do...ALL things.

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