Thursday, June 7, 2007

Sometimes things just do go splat

A man meets a guru in the road. The man asks the guru, "which way is success?"
The bearded sage speaks not but points to a place off in the distance.
The man, thrilled by the prospect of quick and easy success, rushes off in the appropriate direction. Suddenly, there comes a loud "splat." Eventually, the man limps back, tattered and stunned, assuming he must have misinterpreted the message. He repeats his question to the guru, who again points silently in the same direction.
The man obediently walks off once more. This time the splat is deafening, and when the man crawls back, he is bloody, broken, tattered, and irate. "I asked you which way is success," he screams at the guru. "I followed the direction you indicated. And all I got was splatted! No more of this pointing! Talk!"
Only then does the guru speak, and what he says is this: "Success is that way. Just a little past splat."

I read this today and it resonated in my soul. It seems as if I've been splatted...more than once and often lately. The question I have to ask myself I want to go back for another splat or just walk away. I heard a saying that went like this: "sometimes forgiveness is about wishing someone well on their journey, but not going with them on it. Just wishing them well and letting them leave your life" Immediately someone from High school came to mind. It was a long time between when we stopped being friends and I could say 'I wish you well on your journey'. My heart had been hurt too much. betrayed too much. But today I can say that I DO wish her well on her journey...but I don't want to share in her journey.

And then..there's the people who I long to be on the journey with, but the trip is a solitary one. Work of maturing and growing. Work of being independent and finding out that INTERDEPENDENT is better. Work of finding their own relationship with God. And the work of becoming a trustworthy person of integrity.

Last night, P Rick was talking about how God sees us. How no matter how much we beat ourselves up or each other up, God is there cheering us on. There is NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING that can separate us from the love of God. Of course, I wept. Man, I wish I could stop doing that in his class. I'd love to blame it on the songs he picks...but it's just that God is peeling away the layers of my grief...and like stripping our old cabinets, there's just layers and layers of it...but He is a faithful God. He is gentle. He balances my soul and gives me gifts of friendship and His word and great songs and warm winds blowing my hair.

And it's so funny to me all the people who assume that I cry for our church...which I do sometimes. But mostly it's about see her so lost and so unwilling to follow the directions she has been given from the Holy Spirit...paralyzed in her fear and shame. And it's Paul, pretty much in the same place 2.5 years later...sabotaging himself and quitting after two weeks...And it's Dori's loss...and stress...and distance...

So to the next splat I go. And today...I am grateful for:

The songs Sacred, Praise you in the Storm and Voice of Truth
The hot wind outside and how the trees are dancing
Friends who I can laugh with and talk into the wee hours with
being barefoot and wearing a's the next best thing to being naked!!
Patrick's phone call yesterday even though I didn't get to talk to him
That God DOES keep cheering us on, even as we try to push Him away. He rocks!!

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