Thursday, May 6, 2010

Thoughtful Thursday

I've been thinking alot lately....about alot of things. Here they are in no particular order.
  1. It breaks my heart to see my kids struggling. Joseph with the stuff with Lauren, seeing him cry for the first time in years. Seeing him try to balance what he needs to do for himself and what he wants to do for her, trying to navigate fights and confrontations about values not details, and finally realizing it wasn't working. Cassie with the apartment situation and having to carry the lion's share because Chris procrastinates even making a phone call, balancing being a good mom and trying to pack stuff up all while Chris is telling her she's an idiot for doing it. Thinking that he can bully someone, yet again, and get what he wants.
  2. I really don't know what's changed between Paul and I but something has happened and I'm really glad. The walls seem to be coming down by him and I just LIKE him again. I've missed that and am so grateful!!
  3. I miss my nieces. I know they are growing/grown up. But I miss seeing their faces, knowing what's going on in their lives, summers, winters, all of it. Paul keeps saying that's life, but for me that's loss.
  4. I feel like I have too many relationships to maintain. Like I never do a good enough job with anyone, and I don't know how to fix that.
  5. My phone is dying. I don't want to get a phone that is going to cost $30 more a month, but I don't know how I'd do it without the calendar. Honestly.
  6. I'm loving making cards right now; and sending them right away. Not hoarding them.
  7. I think I'm going into menopause!! WHAT???
  8. I think I've found a way to blog that works for me and doesn't make me feel like a failure!! Yep!

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