yesterday was just a crazy day, as well as spending six hours on the phone Tuesday...
Bible/book study was good Tuesday. It was a quick chapter, so we were able to catch up on each other's life a little bit. which was good. Lynda and Theresa needed to vent. Why is life so freakin' hard some times? For me, it's easier to go through the valley than to watch others do it and feel helpless.
I was talking to Lynda about stress and its affect on our bodies...how we need to take care of ourselves by eating right, sleeping (or at least resting), taking time for laughter and drinking lots of water. And then yesterday, I got so busy I forgot to eat. All day. Sheesh.
It seems like it's a trifecta of stressful stuff over here...if it's not church stuff, it's MOPS, and if those two are at a lull (a rare but possible occurence), then it's Cassie's wedding.
She doesn't return my phone calls or emails or posting on her facebook. She did, however, answer Paul's last two calls, so at least we have information, however sad it is. They still haven't sent out the invitation. Chris keeps saying he'll do it, but there they sit. Just like the forms they needed to fill out for the church (for like 6 weeks) Denise (his mother) is doing the flowers. Cassie doesn't even get a say in it...which is pretty much the way whole wedding has gone. She told Paul she wasn't going to ask him to walk her down aisle. There are two questions the priest asks...who give this woman and do you give her freely. She knows the answer to number two is no. So instead of saying "what the h*(# am I doing that my family and friends aren't going to be at my wedding, that none of them approve of this, and that I think I can't even ask my dad to walk me down the aisle, that my fiance has planned (or in this case NOT) every aspect of the wedding and I didn't even get the invitations or attendants that I wanted, WHAT KIND OF MARRIAGE IS THIS GOING TO BE????? and walk away... no. She just transfers blame to everyone else: her job and how busy she is, Chris and he hasn't followed up on his part, etc. I'd say I'm heartbroken, but honestly, after the last two years of seeing him steal bits and pieces of her soul, and then her giving away MORE, and the increased isolation that she goes along with, I'm not. I think I've accepted and grieved that this is waht she has chosen for her life, no matter what broken part in her makes this all ok somehow, and I just pray that someday she comes to her senses...before he kills her. Because she knows it's an abusive relationship and stays. And abusive relationships always escalate. Always. ANd who knows what's going on there now. I can't even think about that. I'll go crazy...this amazing, funny, talented, intelligent, tender, compassionate girl/woman being smacked, pushed, pulled, dragged, held down by a man far too big and no one there for her. I jsut can't spend much time thinking about that. I hate the thought of HIM, who should be caring for her, tender toward her, loving her to death, laying his disgusting fat hands on her to hurt her...and then their kids. OK, clearly, I need to work on forgiving him freely. Ugh. And I know it will be an ongoing thing. Repeated. And forgiving her for letting it happen.
But to quote Dana, in all her wisdom (which is alot), "these are the results of her choices and she's going to have to deal with them". She was talking about something else but it sure fits here.
On to happier things...Judy is in and we BETTER hang out today!! I have to remember her mom's number...I dont have it and Judy doesn't have her cell phone according to her last message. CAN NOT WAIT> CAN NOT WAIT!!!!