This came through today

from Sparkpeople.

To be nobody but yourself--in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else-- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- EE Cummings, poet

Take a look at your priorities and your goals. Where did they come from? Are they the products of soul-searching, self-analysis, and careful planning? Or are they a reaction to pressures from other people? Did you find them within yourself or within the pages of a magazine? The answers to these questions are important because they tell you if the person you're becoming is someone you want to be. Here's another way to look at a goal: do you want it, or do you just think you should want it? It's not easy to follow your own direction in life. But it's more possible than you may think. Question everything. Every priority in your life needs to justify why it's there. If you can't come up with a good reason that actually comes from YOU, maybe it doesn't belong.

I have to say, I was a little caught off guard about this. I had just had a long conversation last night about the person I was becoming, really, slippig into being and tht I needed to make some changes to get back on track with myself...the healthiest version of myself.

I didn't/don't like the me thathas been surfacing in the lasat couple of weeks. ALthough there were goods things happening too, what I eralized was this:

1) I quit working out...I got more and more depressed. So DUH!! I started working out again.

2) I hadn't scrapped in a month...I get less and less thankful for the blessing of relationships

3) I've been lax about praying...specifically for Paul. My heart has gotten colder and harder toward him.

4) I've been listening to things like AC/DC isntead of worship music. ALthough I love the ROCK of AC/DC, it certainly doesnt' turn my mind in a good direction!! LOL So, MOnday I started listening to the radio stations I used to listen to...even at home (where I usually dont have music on at all).

ALl that to say...mid year tune up in progress. It's so easy to drift off our track. Or maybe I should just say it's easy for ME to drift off track. But I"m back on...feel free to ask me how it's going!!

cicada update: still none!! And as much as I appreciate all the offers to import them, I'll pass on each and every one!!

girls night out update: what fun we had again...amazing women. fun women. strong women. and boy can we pack away the food. The next one is the end of the month...salads and flavored teas. I'm already scoping out what salad to bring. well, make and put out. same difference!! LOL

And Cassie came...she was our "virgin" guest. Everyone else was repeat offenders in one form or another. She says she had fun and we had fun having her there...who wants to be our next virgin sacrifice??? LOL

travel update: June 14th- Dori comes in for a week; July 2, Michelle comes here!! WOOHOO July 27th-ish, we go for a girls' weekend!! August 20th-ish: out to WA state!! Labor day weekend: Kelly concert part two!!

It's nice to have

a normalish day...and things are back to a rhythm here. Laundry done, dinner being cooked, phone calls getting returned.
And thanks to my niece's bad influenced, I"m not totally hooked on Prison Break. Wow. It's as compelling as 24 USED to be. Had to remind myself to breathe a few times in the last 2 episodes. Good thing I watched them on DVD. Now to wait for the second season. Great fake tattoos too.
FInally caught up with Cassie. She's a hard chicita to get ahold of. She said she got her hair cut up to her shoulders to get rid of all the split ends. ANd that she loves it. It curls even. No one I know has better hair than her!!
Joseph made it to FL. Two full days of driving and no xbox. None of the power converters worked. One of life's little ironies!! I hope he has fun. I hope he packed everything. I guess we'll all find out when he gets home.
And...I have a facebook now. So funny. Great way to share pix with people...and with some of my favorites to boot.
Had a little closing party for MOPS last night, at Lynda's She's a great hostess. And the food was fabulous...even at 1:30, cold.
Tomorrow, my girls night out that caused so freakin' much controversy. I'm looking forward to hanging with Judy and everyone else...and eating Mexican food. Yummy.
Peonies are in full bloom...cicadas still haven't shown up. Cowards. IL intimidates them. I know it. They're gonna skip right over us and hit Indiana. Ok by me. Nothing more disgusting than the crunch crunch crunch of them under my feet. Ewwwwww...
Was supposed to crop today. I blabbed....online and then on the phone.
And I have 10 great nails...well, 20 if you count my pedicured toes!! I love this time of year: warm enough to be barefoot; not so hot I can't breathe. Yep...it's a good day for me.
I hope it was for you too!!

Twelve days...wow

It's been a while, but these twelve days have been eventful!! To say the least...

Our drive out to SC was fine...went faster than we thought and my butt didn't even go numb. I found out one good book is all I need for that trip. Same was true going home,except the trip always seems longer on the way home.

Michelle had already gotten her gown and tassels by the time we got there, so all I had to do was iron it and wait...for the duct tape to come out to make that little white thing stay on. The school gave us for 1x1 stickers, as if that would work on SC humidity. So laugh if you must, but it worked...and she looked fab.

My siblings haven't changed...it's been a year since I saw my brother and two since I saw my sister. My brother was largely unavailable but we did have a nice conversation at Denny's (yeah, that's the only place open at 10:00 in Spartanburg), and he promised to come out for Memorial Day...was a no show. that's Joe in a nutshell. Alicia and I had one good conversation while I was there. Good isn't really the word, but honest is. Her parting words to me were "keep beating me up". Ouch.

Michelle graduated, with four honor tassels that weighed down her neck and brought on endless teasing from Melissa. We couldn't even FIND her till she stood up to walk for her diploma. But I think if there's ever a time to find someone THAT IS IT!! Her graduation was outside and the weather was beautiful. They have a tradition of storming the field at the end of the ceremony so it took us a long time to find her.

Don't wear strappy sandals to a graduation unless you know you won't be walking 1.5 miles (no,I am NOT kidding) to your seat. We had to walk across three parking lots, a football sized field, down 50 stairs and back to where we were, just 2 stories lower in the field. Yeah. Blisters. Lots of them. For a week. Good thing there were flip flops for the rest of the week!!

Phase 10 is still a game that goes on far too freakin' long!!

1. I still can't golf. More accurately, I can't get the ball past the 50 foot mark on the driving range. It might me my equipment. Flip flops and a tshirt skirt. But I did have my shades. And we had so much fun. I'm sure it takes actual golfers more than 10 minutes to blow through a bucket of balls, but not us. That includes the walking time to get the balls and get to the driving range. But admit it. I looked good while I was hacking away...

1. MacAllisters and Chik Fil A are the only places that know how to make sweet tea that doesn't counteract a diabetic coma. Yummy. Had it as often as I possibly could. And Chik Fil A's chicken is yummy too.



2. Ah...speaking of food...Waffle House (sorta a trailer version of International House of Pancakes) is fabuloso!! The cheese grits were to die for...a big ole' bowl.Yum. Crispy bacon, in IL, means, mildly floppy. Crispy bacon at WAHO is CRISPY. Delish. And perfectly cooked eggs. Really, my favorite place to eat when visiting the girls.

Cooks.com has a fabulous lasagna recipe. And easy. I lost my beloved St Mary's cookbook with my fabulous recipe. So we had to go on line to find it. I am reminded again that sometimes what we get instead of what we WANT is still good. And then, the day after the party, the girls find a copy of the recipe for my lasagna in their cabinet.!!

I missed Cassie this trip. Cried through Kentucky...on the way there. Come to think of it, cried through KY on the way home but for different reasons.

1. Drove all the way to SC and went shopping at their Kohls, finding some great shirts and shorts for Joseph and a Spidey tie for Melissa
We were looking for jean initially, but no luck there. I guess we'll have to get his jeans altered to fit. But we did expand Jofee's wardrobe beyond the 4 pair of khaki shorts he brought with him. And of course he got compliments on his new clothes, including a baseball-ish hat. My son the fashion plate. Who'da thunk it??

Next trip Will be a girls' trip. No men. Seriously. Not sure where or when, but it's gonna happen!!

So I"m home now and the laundry is done, the house is clean again and Joseph is gone again. Off to FL with a friend for 2 weeks. I missed my friends tremendously and can't wait to see them all.

I think I've even gotten Paul on the WAHO train...but he won't admit it!!

heading out soon...

and I have to say:
I am anxious. Family dynamics aren't at our best right now.
I am sad. This is our first family vaca without Cassie. I miss her daily.
I am excited. I haven't seen M&M for almost a year. (Well, Meesh, but it's different when we are all together)
I'm conflicted. Too chopped up a trip and too many roles competing for a wee bit of time.
I am happy. I have an MP3 player on my phone and we can all listen to our own music. The plugged in generation...no more listening to Joseph's music, brewing a headache for an hour. No more Meatloaf till I could regurgitate. On the other hand...it's Kelly, Nick and Faith till THEY would regurg...but they won't hear it either!!
Oh for the dominoes, the golf games, Quaxby's, sweet tea at Chik Fil A, cheese grits at WaHo.
ANd...my butt is going numb at the thought of spending all the time in the car!! LOL
I'm anticipating the beauty that is America. Nothing better than a road trip to see it. Waterfalls on both sides of us, trees growing from cracks in mountains. Mountains that invite me to whisper in awe. Sunrise in a forest. Being able to breathe. Winding roads, tree lined and dripping with trees bowing in the wind. Simply beautiful. God inspired, amazing nature. Far more beautiful than we could ever bring to be. A reminder...we are not alone in this life. We simply need to look around to be reminded.
So I am, finally, on the eve of our trip: glad the laundry is done, the snacks are made and the piles of clothes are together, the lists are complete; I am content...surrounded by reminders of all I have been blessed with...and I know that whatever happens, I am called to filter it all through "I am a Christian woman"...and I believe I can do that, with God's blessing.

Top 5:
I FIT IN ALL MY LAST YEARS SUNDRESSES!! WOOHOO!!
My beautiful purple flowers
Today's sunshine and warmth on my face
barefoot walking
Being able to crop, even a wee little bit this weekend. It make me happy to do the silly pix of Joseph, and my Bears, and Paul with the kids. I'll have to upload them when I get back.

cluck cluck

Being the chicken that I am, I procrastinated my dentist appointment. Sigh. I was chewing gum on Sunday and heard a crunch. In my experience, gum should not crunch. Given that I hadn't eaten anything crunchy, I didn't have a good feeling about what I might find. And what I DID find was a piece of my filling in my gum. Good thing the gum was white...makes a white filling oh so easy to find!!
Anyway, the dentist I'm trying (thanks Lana!!) was out of town and now I'm going a week from Tuesday. I hope my tooth holds out that long. I hope it doesn't hurt too much between now and then. I hope that the dentist knocks me out so I feel nothing. Ugh. Hate dentists. At least I'm not alone. Small consolation when it's MY ANXIETY attack!! LOL
Anyway, my coming week looks like this:
Friday (today): online crop, Mary Kay party, have to upload card and instructions, pay bills
Saturday: card workshop, lunch with my brother, home to crop for a few hours, birthday party, prayer meeting
Sunday: Service, class, pack, bbq for small group and member meeting at church that will probably go long. May have a debrief afterwards
Monday: 7am, leave for Spartanburg. Drive until butt disconnects from body, debate music tastes, land tired at about 10-11.
Tuesday: WOOHOOO!!! Get Melissa from airport.Do the usual happy dance at the bottom of the stairs after countless texts flying back and forth: I'm here, off the plan, where are you, I"m walking, we're at luggage, etc. etc. I use half my texts at the airport waiting for the girlies when they land!! Meesh graduates at 8PM
Wed-Thurs: nothing but glorious yapping it up with the girlies and nasty southern fast food. Yummo!! Hopefully there will be no meltdowns or blow ups!! Get Joseph some clothes that fit from the one store that stocks his anorexic tallboy clothes
Friday: Prepare for Meesh's party. Party. Kiss kiss, smooch smooch good bye. Head to Huntersville with any luck to see Dori for a bit.
Saturday: leave for home. Sigh. Another butt numbing experience
Sunday: Go to service to experience first hand the fall out of the meeting last week.
Monday: laundry for Joseph so he can leave for FL on Tuesday for two weeks!!

Big sad sigh...

and another one.
American Idol booted Melinda. Really. Sheesh. Honestly!! Blake stays and SHE leaves. Wah. A travesty. Sigh.

ABCs of Me again

Well, here it is!! My long awaited red phone. I went from a motorola to a samsung, which has a different way of doing things. It has a great digital camera, a MP3 player and it's REEEEEDDDD!! I'm still loading things on it and transferring my calendar. It has taken me 4 days just to get my address book right. Today and tomorrow is calendar days...I want to have it all taken care of before we leave for SC.

Mothers Day...a really great day. We went to the Promenade in Bolingrook and walked around on a beautiful sunny day. Nice breeze. Music piped in to the fake town and a fabulous dinner at a new restaurant that I loved. And home for a relaxing night and a short visit with Cassie in the evening. All in all, a good day!!






THE LETTER A


Are you available?: Today, by phone. No car. Just give me a call if you need anything.


Age?: 43, I've been saying I"m turning 43. Somewhere I lost a year. Sigh. Didn't even notice!!


Annoyances: Being broke. People who ask stupid questions. Judgmental people. Feeling unheard when I think I"m making myself clear!!



THE LETTER B


Do you live in a big house?: No, but it's getting too big for us.


When is your birthday?: June 24th.


Who is your best friend?: Jesus, and a few other angels on earth.



THE LETTER C


What's your favorite candy?: dark chocolate


Who's your crush?: A nobrainer...Denzel Washington


When was the last time you cried?: Last night, a song at church hit me where it should have.


Cell phone minutes used on my old spidy phone: 274 hours, 49 minutes, 32 seconds.



THE LETTER D


Do you daydream?: Not really


What's your favorite kind of dog?: Dachsund.


What day of the week is it?: Thursday. We leave in 4 days for SC



THE LETTER E


How do you like your eggs?: Over medium. Not snotty stuff, but still with runny yoke for the toast.


Have you ever been in the emergency room?: So many times!! The last time was with Cassie, bad stomach ache


Easiest thing ever to do?: For me, to isolate myself from people. Bad thing to do, but easy



THE LETTER F


Have you ever flown in a plane?: Yep.Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. But it gets me where I want to go.


Use fly swatters?: Yes. I hate those pesty thing.s (flies, not the swatters)





THE LETTER G


Do you chew gum?: Yes!That's how I lost my filling on Mother's Day. Gum should not crunch and mine did.


Are you a giver or a taker?: A giver, but you'd have to check with my peeps.


Do you like gummy candies?: Only soft, really fresh ones



THE LETTER H


How are you?: Anxious about a number of things. Not looking forward to this week and the feelings that have surfaced regarding it.


What color is your hair?: Brownish red



THE LETTER I


What's your favorite ice cream?: President's Choice Chocolate decadence.


Have you ever ice skated?: Yes, but I didn't like it and have been since I was a kid.





THE LETTER J


What's your favorite jelly?: Strawberry or jalapeno raspberry


Do you wear jewelry?: YES. I love jewelry. Dangling earrings, necklaces, watches -- you name it.
THE LETTER K


Who do you want to kill?: I think if I answered this it could constitute a death threat...


Do you want kids?: Well this question is 20 years too late, but yes I did and I love them to death



THE LETTER L


Are you laid back?: I'd say no


Do you lie?: No. I do alot of things I wish I didn't, but lie isn't one of them



THE LETTER M


What's your favorite movie?: Hmmm...Right now...I don't have one.


Do you like mangoes?: BLeCH!! NO!!



THE LETTER N


Do you have a nickname?: Yes. None of which I like or want to share.


Whats your favorite number?: Don't have one.


Do you prefer night over day?: Yes. I'm a total night owl



THE LETTER O


What's your one wish?: That everyone could just slow their emotions down long enough to hear the other person out and make peace with each other.


.Are you an only child?: Nope. I have 2 older sisters and 2 younger brothers



THE LETTER P


What one fear are you most paranoid about?: Honestly, Cassie getting beat by Chris.


What personality trait do you look for in people?: Sense of humor, wit, general optimism, open mind, humility



THE LETTER Q


What's your favorite quote?: "Believe who people show themselves to be the first time" Maya Angelou



THE LETTER R


Do you think you're always right?: Doesn't everyone? But I don't dig in and not listen, even when I do think I"m right.



THE LETTER S


Do you prefer sun or rain?: Sun.



THE LETTER T


What time is it?: 11:58 am.


What time did you wake up?: 8:45 am.


When was the last time you slept in a tent?: Never. Don't ever plan to either



THE LETTER U


Are you wearing underwear?: yep



THE LETTER V


What's the worst veggie: I honestly can't think of one I don't like.


Where do you want to go on vacation?: To the Carolinas, Washington state, Europe



THE LETTER W


What's your worst habit?: I'll have to ask Paul that.


Where do you live?: Joliet, IL


What's your worst fear?: pitch black dark. It paralyzes me. Close second: bad storms with rolling thunder.



THE LETTER X


Have you ever had an x-ray?: I had several


Have you seen the x-games?: Ok don't even know what they are!!


Do you own a xylophone?: No



THE LETTER Y


Do you like the color yellow?: Yes, it makes me happy.


What's one thing you yearn for?: The full restoration of my marriage.



THE LETTER Z


What's your zodiac sign?: Cancer.


Do you believe in the zodiac?: Nope.


Favorite zoo animal?: The red butted monkeys!! BWAHAHAHA