I watched the Oprah show today...

which I do alot of the time. It makes me think; challenges my worldview sometimes; and often makes me cry. Today was a crying day. She had on 3 people: one woman who started a pajama drive for foster kids; one man who started collecting books for 3rd world countries; and another woman who uses coupons to fund a food pantry. This is s super-simplified version of the show...so watch it tonight at 11 if you can.
Anyway, the kids that she was giving pajamas to didn't even know what pajamas were. It reminded me of her first Christmas show in Africa where the kids cried when they realized the new, clean underwear was for them. Oh man. We are soooo blessed here. Our kids (literally MY kids) complained when they got new underwear or socks in their stockings, unless they were FUN socks. And Joseph couldn't care less either way.
Not to get on a soap box...but I think I'm going to start to challenge the women at Girls Night Out to pay it forward each month.

Each month will be a pay it forward for a local charity...
starting with potted plants for a nursing home in April,
Mothers Day cards for kids to give them moms (for a local shelter) in May,
Beach toys for kids in June,
Sparklers and bubbles for batter women's shelter in July,
back to school items for a very poor school district in August

I think it's the least we can do, as we gather to celebrate the blessing of friendship and strength in each of us...and I'm thinking I'll take paypal donations for people who want to help and can't run over to Joliet to make it happen. We can change the world one month and one smile at a time. And what if all the scrappers we know made little cardstock frames for kids to have picture of their family at shelters and in foster care? Our little .19 prints would be such a comfort...so...I think I found that seed that the preacher was talking about on Sunday...

I double dog dare ya to join me...

well, ya gotta have frienddddddssssss....

Brenda Funk (she's in choir and surprised Judy)
Judy (WOOHOO! SOOOOOO great to see her!!), Birgit (maker of flirtini's), Sherrie(with a new haircut), Cindi Goron (told one of the funniest Target stories I have ever heard) , Theresa (had a ball and got louder with each refill, but still wasn't the loudest one there!!)
FRONT:

Christine (I'm so glad she came...first time!!), Lynda (two nights in a row with this little party woman!!), Nicole (first time in my house!!), Kimberlee(said she was staying 10 minutes and stayed wayyyyyyyyy longer), me (in my new "hanging with my peeps tshirt!!) and Michelle Cabeza (turns purple when she has a martini)

Another weekend, another excuse for some fun and laughter and being blessed by the peeps in my life...even if I couldn't be in FL (sniff, sniff)Friday we had appetizers and martinis for Judy and 12 other women who I just love!! I can't remember laughing that much...well...probably since last weekend.

It was a dream of mine, at the beginning of the year, to keep having this casual drop in nights that give us all a chance to just hang and talk and get to know people we wouldn't normally. I am so aware of how blessed I am to have the friends I have, and I think everyone should be blessed with strong, funny, confident, honest, transparent, non-judgmental friends!!

The night started off great...I opened the club soda and it attacked me, the clothes I was wearing, my counter and floor....I didn't know club soda could make an arc the way it did, on the way to half drowning me, but it did!! Luckily, we didn't need much for the cosmos...we still have some left...and now I"m "vodka girl"...I don't THINK SO!! I made nametags for everyone with silly things on them like "my filter falls off" and "I"m obsessing about..." and "bad influence"...and don't think Theresa's drinking pop...it was some concoction that she kept changing all night!! Doesn't Judy look great??? I hate to admit it, but Seattle does a body good...at least hers!!

We stayed up till 1:30, Judy and Theresa and Sherrie left at about 1, Sherrie leaving just about 20 minutes before one...coward!! She brags about hanging with the big dogs, but all the 40-ish women outlasted her!! LOL Then it was up at 7:00 for the card swap Saturday...

The card swap started off glowingly..none of us knew how to get there, so we had to stop Fran (the one who did, but we didn't have her cell phone #) and ask how to get there, then decided just to follow her. I don't even know what we talked about on the way up there, but I know we laughed out butts off (sadly, there is no actual physical evidence of that happening!!). Made 46 cards in however many hours we were there...and then I WON the BIG BIG door prize...a cuddlebug (I think that's what it's called...I'm a die-hard sizzix girl). I met a lady who was on flylady with me too...small world!! Anyway, the greater library area new I won coz I screamed and threw my hands up in the air and you'd think I won the lottery, but that was NOTHING compared to Kimberlee winning the software she hoped for. On the way home, we had to turn around twice, drive through pouring rain, and looked at all our cards while driving (no ace driving awards for us...but oh well!!) Get home, to have yours truly pour her tea INTO the waterproof bag I chose to hold everything for the day...so I look in the bag (and say Thanks God for giving me the idea to pack up all my cards at the library) and see my camera floating in a pool of chocolate mocha tea...it's a little sticky, but it has lived to tell the tales.

another fun, fabulous day....rushing home to get to small group on time...which was amazing. I mentioned having a martini night and one of the women in my group asked me (imagine eyes opened wide and jaw a bit slack) "real ones??"...I still smile at that. Shes so, I don't know, sheltered, maybe? Everyone continued to share their stories (we started two weeks ago) over yummy lasagna and chicken tetrazzini, salad and super garlic bread (thanks to Sonja D...her mom made it that way and I will till I die or swear off garlic bread!!). Fabulous dessert with layers of yummmmmm....and then of course, stay late and get stupid with D&R. Are they warped? Perhaps...but I love them to death. There is nothing that brings an instant laugh than the twinkle in R's eyes when he's making fun of someone and trying to come off serious. And D..."I may be dumb but..." as IF...I think she's one of the wisest women I know and I love hanging with her...and that freaky dog with the underbite and weird teeth...honestly. He thinks he's a cat!!

Judy leaves on Tuesday...I am soooo hoping we can hang out a bit tomorrow...she didn't make it to church today...and SOMEONE CALLED MY FREAKIN HOUSE AT 730 THIS MORNING!!! ARE THEY INSANE??? No, they just couldn't get their key unstuck (I am NOT kidding..that was the big emergency) I think I'm going to start answering the phone instead of passing it on to Paul..."Hello, if there isn't blood or death involved, there will be for calling at this hour. Please call back after 10" Think they'd get a clue?

Service was great...what is the seed within the seed (each corn kernal produces 2 ears of corn that produce 800 ears of corn, etc) But the point was: the passion within you, the gifts you have (and they aren't all church related) are YOUR seeds and it may be preaching or singing but it may be athletics or being kind or welcoming or whatever, but those seeds are what GOd gives each of us to grow his kingdom...

Oh..nap...well, sorta. Paul was snoring next to me...so maybe a rest is more like it. Which was desperately needed: I think I got a total of 10 hours sleep since Wed. night!!

Then...went to Premonition with Sandra Bullock. Good movie, if someone predictable at the end. Really, you have to think to watch it.

Trail mix for dinner...and thus ends a great weekend...and begins a "normal" week. Just Joseph's 57 social engagements (now that he's off grounding) and Victoriously Frazzled on Thursday...and I"m PROMISING myself not another 4 am gabfest. 345 at the latest. No really!!

Tomorrow is weigh in...it's probably gonna be ugly. This past week I was just BAD with exercise and this weekend, eating bad bad for me stuff! And how many calories are in a chocolate peppermint martini (that was Sherrie's idea...)

does this look like it would take

till 4 in the mornng? I told Lynda I needed to leave at 2:00, which was 3 hours after the house was silent, and then we talked for two more hours. I heard the birds singing when I came home to my OWN silent house.

God is sooooo good...

Meesh got to FL ok

My heart is at peace

My kids are healthy

I have great friends who challenge and accept me for who I am

the birds are singing and trees are budding

and on a lighter note, I fit into my goal jeans and have 10 perfect nails (one with some weird acrylic coating on it, but it's all me underneath!!)

and check out this web site...http://www.scribd.com/doc/5107/They-didnt-study

Last night at church was

amazing. I never fail to be touched in some way on Wednesday nights...either by P. Rick's message, or the music played, or conversations afterwards. Always something and frequently profoundly touched...think about it during the week...Paul and I discuss it at length sometimes. Anyway, so we're studying Romans 5-8 and we're on Rom 7 now, which P. Rick is teaching from a different perspective than is usually taught. We are not Christians who are bound to struggle with sin and our past for the rest of our lives. We, the day we become Christians, and when we are baptized, and every day since, can leave our caca at the cross...we can leave behind the sins we lived out so obnoxously(that's me, not him!!)...we can leave behind the scars from our childhood or early adulthood...we can leave behind our low self esteem, confidence issues, etc. It may be difficult, and that's not without speaking OUTLOUD that we are changed, forever, profoundly, for the better, in Jesus, because we have to convince the evil forces in the world that we are serious about leaving it behind. We are serious about not falling to the temptation (for me) of anger, sadness, defeat, hard heartedness. We are serious about not letting others dictate our feelings, but get our positive mojo (again, me) from our faith and from the knowledge that we are forgiven...forever...completely....clean...

So...at the end of the session last night, P Rick says something to the effect of "those who have business with God, and want to leave something here, are welcome to stay". And he restarts the song...well...I've heard that song a million times. I love that song. It makes me cry. I am moved to tears that I am forgiven, because Jesus, 2000+ years ago, chose to die a horrible, humiliating death for me...for me to be forgiven...and not just that...to be restored...to find joy and value in my existence instead of believing the lie "i wish you had never been born"...and last night, I did have business to do with God...I just didn't know it yet.

So...I lay down my broken heart regarding my marriage. I am walking on in faith that Jesus, who forgives my sin, who restored my soul from the lies and abuse of my childhood, who brought all of that to his broken,nail scarred hands and held it together until I was whole, that same Jesus is now doing that work in my heart for my marriage. I will choose life...love...respect.

And I come home and bawl some more...not those cute little boohoo tears...oh no...the swollen eyes, booger dripping nose tears....again...because that's what I did at church. Mental note: pack kleenex!! And I share with Paul what happened and what I"m feeling and realizing.

I am so blessed...and forgiven...and restored. I wish and pray the same for you as you read this...because God doesn't play favorites and He's got the same offer with your name on it.

some random things

1) I love this picture of Paul and me...we have remembered how to laugh together again and enjoy being together. For that I am grateful beyond words...now if he can just STAY on track. ANd if I can just stay in the "he's forgiven and we're working on getting past it all" mode, we'll be better every day as a couple....right??

2) I was fixing my necklace at Joy's house and she's said "what's that..." it was my MUSCLE!! WOOHOO!!

3) Book club last night...fascinating conversation, great food, and of course, the required laughter as we left. I am blessed with a great group of women in my life.

4) Judy comes today!!! I won't see her till Friday, and she's flying in late...but I'll take it!! Like the old Heinz commercial...ANTICiPATION!!

5) Patrick informs me that "Auntie Ger, I was really bored on ship and there was nothing to do and I couldn't sleep one night...so I read your blog" Now how am I supposed to take that?? Really....

6) I love my MOPS table...they are all beginning to open up alot. Sigh. Kandyce's last meeting was today....but at least there's still Victoriously Frazzled!!

7) A MOPS mom and friend told me she wants to be like me when "she grows up". She made me cry, telling me that I'm wise and don't mince words and stay calm and concise and to the point. I was really touched...not how I see myself at all...

AND what if we all lived like this???

The Clay Balls. . . A man was exploring caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him. As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could. He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock. Inside was a beautiful, precious stone! Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each contained a similar treasure. He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left. Then it struck him. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he had just thrown it away! It's like that with people. We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel It doesn't look like much from the outside. It isn't always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it. We see that person as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy. Or the reverse, we see only the outside clay that seems so much better than ours, and we discard it because we're threatened by their "better clay". But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person. There is a treasure in each one of us. If we take the time to get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth. May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in friendships because the gems were hidden in bits of clay? May we see the people in our world as God sees them?

Recognize this guy???

Guess what we did this afternoon? With no prodding from the parental units...just funding!!

I just gotta say....

I love spending time with my family...seriously. I do. Whether it's by chat or phone or conference call or in person. I love it love it love it!! And that's literally what I've been doing since Friday...well, really Thursday!! I finally caught up with Michelle on my walk...that girl is one busy chickadee!! We talked for a half hour, getting caught up with her insane life (no really, some freaky pedophile drum teacher dude gets busted while he's supposed to be at work for propositioning an undercover internet detective...that's the kind of stuff that happens to her!!), but at least band is almost over and maybe we can hook up in person this summer. Sigh. Missed her on spring break this year. The ultimate...she's going to see her sissy!! WAAAH!!! I wanna be there!! Then, as I'm sitting down after my walk (still talking to the meeshster) and Meliss calls and we end up with this great conference call, laughing our butts off at each other's stupidity and usually at me...oh well. They don't like my leopard print cardigan...but they haven't seen it either. And I don't wear hootchie mama shorts that have photo proof they are too short either there missies!!

Saturday we celebrated Cassie's bday...she came over to a decorated chair (can you believe I found Garfield AND a unicorn at the same place???), chili and presents... Paul made her favorite ice cream pie and managed t get the candles to say "19" and IN the ice cream. We played cards and laughed and learned some card tricks from Chris and some jailhouse card game that we'll need more instruction on. Just a great time...3:00 and Paul's gotta go to church to sing at 4 and I suggest to Joseph that we go formal shopping so it's not in a panic later on (as is our usual shopping mode with anorexic tall boy). Found a pair of great black dress pants, and shirts (3--black, coral and a deep pink) and 2 ties that are cool. He's set for a while, I think to myself, just as he's opening his mouth to tell me all of his old navy shirts are getting too short. I rethink my previous gleeful thought...and add "for dress clothes" crap. He needs to stop growing. Seriously. He's tall enough. Enough with the growing!! And I think back to Paul at this age and wonder if Joseph will also grow crazy amounts in length this summer like Paul did back in the day. Maybe I should just introduce him to the nudist colony idea till he's done. Sigh.

Cassie comes back for her food that she left behind (pie, chili and corned beef) and tells me she found a wedding dress. Thus ends the good part of her birthday, by her accounts. Chris got a new game and went home and played it and all the people that were invited over to her place for her bday didn't show. :(

Sunday, I go to my fabuloso prayer class, and really get this stronghold thing with the speaker's great illustration..and am working the women's ministry desk at Patrick walks up and tells me I should really smile more. Brat!! But I was so glad to see him and Lindsay and Theresa. I just love it when they come to church...and hang out after. We had breakfast and played cards, and my cardshark sissy just quietly kicked our collective butts. She ALWAYS wins!!

Doesn't look very happy to have won, does she??? She said she was tired, but I think she's just tired of dominating cards when Meesh isn't here.

And finish Sunday night off with a great convo with Meliss...I just love talking her her. We get each other...

We took picture of each set of "losers" for each round...those that had negative points. At least we sunk as a family!! LOL Somewhere around round 8, we finally were all positive and no more pix were necessary!!

Our first bbq of the year...yummo!! Marinated asparagus and chicken. soooo yummy!!

Saw Joy on Monday FINALLY!! We've been trying to get together since January...you'd think she lives in the Arctic,not Shorewood. I just love hanging with her too...it's so easy to sit and yap the day away. I feel completely accepted by her and we laugh...and laugh...and laugh...and eat.

Last night, we went out to BB to buy Patrick his "happy birthday drink" and stayed fr a long time...laughing and joking around and taking stupid pictures. Just had a seriously great time!!

So today...it's back to my world of housewife of the year and getting ready for the shoebox swap I forgot about that is this Saturday...talk about an oh crap moment!! So, I'll be cleaning, laundering, folding, dusting, putting away, printing shopping lists, etc.etc. and slicing and dicing card stock!!

I love my life...warts and all!! And Judy comes in this week!! WOOOOHOOOO!!!